What’s Normal To You In Your Small Business?

I wanted to talk to you about all the things that people consider to be normal. And how trying to be normal to fit in can cause you to really struggle in your business.

Normal is one of those subjects that is a very individual thing. What may seem normal to you in your life and in your business, may not seem normal to me in my life and my business.

Normal as the larger part of society often dictates it, is something that I’ve steered well clear of for much of my life.

As I was thinking about this the other day and thinking about how normal my life has been, when I compare it to a lot of societal norms, I realised that I’ve spent much of my life running in the opposite direction of normal, and it hasn’t served me too badly doing that.

I’m going to just share a few examples of what I consider to be normal for the average person on the street that’s stuff I’ve chosen not to be part of.

Even when I look back to my younger days, I realised that as a teenager, around 16-17 years of age, I was already starting to veer away from this path  of normal.

I remember I used to hang out with a girl gang We’d been friends for many years, we’d gone through infant school, junior school, and what was then called comprehensive school together. As we became teenagers and got to the age of 16, 17, and 18, we started to change the way that we hung out together.

Instead of hanging out in the local parks and playing ball games, climbing trees, we instead started going out to the local pubs and nightclubs as many teenagers that age do. This was in the 1980s when curly hair, shoulder pads, neon coloured fashion, and new romanticism was all the rage. Duran Duran, Adam and the Ants, Boy George and Spandau Ballet were the hit groups of that era.

I’d be heading out on a Friday, Saturday and sometimes even a Sunday night with my with my girlfriends and they’d all be wearing their neon, ruffled shirt dresses with matching in your face neon shoes – all the height of fashion at that time. They’d curl their big 80s hair, and have their shoulder pads in. Even back then I was so far removed from what was normal in terms of fashion and taste in music.

I’d be the the one who stood out (not necessarily in a good way!) with my hair blow dried with hairspray into a semi Mohican style, all shaved at the side. My mom must have despaired. I would borrow mom’s yoga tights with stirrups, I’d have black four inch stilettos, a massive leather sailor’s belt with a huge brass belt buckle on and a teeny tiny cheese cloth fitted shirt from the 1970s.

Even back at that point in my life, I was already starting to not fit the mold.

As I move forward in time to today, and look at my life, I see so much of my life that is far from normal. Richard, my partner and I have been together for 22 years this year. We’ve never married, it’s not something that is a priority for us. I’ve never had children, nor ever really felt an overpowering need to want to have children. I never touch alcohol. I never go to pubs. I haven’t had a holiday in this country or abroad since 2006, and have zero interest in doing so. I’ve been self employed since 1998. I would rather be sat at home with a good book than going out to party. I go my own way and follow my own style with fashion.

Even when I look at my business, I’ve followed my own path. I’m not interested in viral trends on any of the social platforms. I’m not interested in doing any of the dancy pointy, on the social platforms. I’m not interested in viral challenges.

In actual fact when it comes to my business, I spend a lot of time looking around to see what other people are doing. And the moment I start to see stuff that everybody is doing, my gut reaction is to run as fast in the opposite direction as I can and go and do something that is completely anti what everybody else is doing.

It’s really interesting to me when I think about who I am, and the way that I show up, and how I live my life, because I know many females who really struggle with their own sense of self-identity, they really struggle with their own confidence and just being uniquely themselves in business.

They feel that they’re going to be judged by people if for any reason they do not fit the role of normal that society dictates.

I have no fear at all  about growing my business and being myself in a way that feels intuitively right and normal for me. I never feel that I have to apologise for being who I am, and for running my business in a way that feels right for me.

I think if you can get to a stage in your life where you embrace fully who you are without apology, and you run your small business the way you want to without bending to pressure when others tell you how you should be showing up, it’s very liberating. It gives you a great sense of freedom. Because you know that you’re living your life, and you’re growing your business to a moral compass and with standards that you’ve created that are personal to, and feel right for you.

A lot of female business owners really struggle to embrace being authentically, fully themselves online. There’s this sense of needing to show up and fit in to avoid judgement, criticism, standing out too much, or fear of failing because you’re not following a norm. And it’s all BS because there is no single right way to show up. There is no single way to grow a successful small business.

But there is the normal way that means something and feels right for you.

Your small business will be much easier to grow every single day if you find the way that feels right, normal to you. Your audience will come more freely to you when you get past the barrier of needing to fit in and conform, and you start showing up as the real you, with a business that works in a way that fits who you are.

I think one of the most powerful things I’ve done for myself and my business has been to unapologetically be me, and build a small business that makes sense and feels right for me.

You have to remember that a lot of the normal in society exists because people in power want to keep the average Joe on the street like me in a little box where we are no trouble, no competition and where we can be more easily controlled.

Richard and I collectively, don’t buy into that normal. We forge our own paths. We make our own decisions. We don’t allow ourselves to be pigeon holed into following the norms of society.

We won’t do the anything that doesn’t feel intuitively right for us in our lives and in our respective businesses. We have been able to lead interesting and extraordinary lives by following our own paths and not being pulled into a societal herd.

So when it comes to you your work from home small business, if there’s one piece of advice I really want to offer, it’s forge your own path, find a way to show up and work in your business that fits you.

I believe the more you can embrace who you really are, and bring your authentic self unapologetically to your business, and build your business in a way that is in alignment with who you, you will ultimately achieve much greater success as well as a sense of peace and contentment from the small business you are showing up every day to run.